Showing posts with label Saint Francis of Assisi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saint Francis of Assisi. Show all posts

Monday, October 7, 2013

Guess the Saint

By Ann Barnhardt

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Guess the saint:

This saint joined a Crusade to Egypt in the hopes of PROSELYTIZING as many musloids as he could before being killed.  This saint was not killed, but was instead received into the court of a sultan.  Our saint then offered to engage in a trial by fire – literal fire – with the sultan’s musloid “scholars”.  Our saint offered to enter into a fire pit and if he emerged unscathed, the musloid scholars would then have to concede that the CATHOLIC GOD (the word “catholic” means “universal”, so of course God is Catholic, and of course His Church is Catholic) and not the phoney musloid god (our saint, like any intelligent person, knows that the thing called “allah” is a non-existent pagan-Bedouin moon deity concocted by the inventors of the musloid political system, inspired by satan himself) is the One, True God.  Naturally, knowing that their non-existent deity could not duplicate such a miracle, and not wanting to be burned to a crisp, the musloids declined the challenge – BUT the sultan granted our saint permission to PROSELYTIZE and win souls for Christ in his territory WHILE THIS VERY SULTAN WAS FIGHTING CRUSADERS.

Who was this saint who knew that not only was PROSELYTIZING not “solemn nonsense”, but was utterly essential and demanded by Our Lord – a direct corollary to the two Great Commandments, to love God and to love our neighbor?

Yep.  It was St. Francis of Assisi.

Giotto’s fresco depicting St. Francis’ Trial by Fire. The musloids are on the left, slinking away. Apparently this was all a terrible mistake on St. Francis’ part. He should have merely “encountered” the musloids in a spirit of “dialogue” and listened to their lies and then declared that they should all engage in good works and “meet each other there”. Because, you know, there isn’t a “Catholic God”, and the god the musloids believe in is the same as the Triune Godhead, or something. And God Himself being Goodness Itself, and good and evil being whatever the individual “conceives” them as being, “God” is whoever or whatever the individual says He, She or It is. Thank “god” we have Smart Francis today to correct all of the errors of Stupid Francis of Assisi.

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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Father Rutler: Saint Francis of Assisi was not a garden gnome

By Father George Rutler

On October 4, we give thanks for one of the best known and least known of all saints. Least known, that is, because Francis of Assisi was not a garden gnome, or a doe-eyed hippy skipping with animals and hugging trees. Garden gnomes do not bear the Stigmata of Christ's wounds. A vegetarian? He berated a friar for wanting to abstain from meat on a feast day and said that on Christmas he would “smear the wall with meat.” An iconoclast? He was meticulous in the ceremonials of the Mass, insisting that every sacred vessel and vestment be the best, and his Rule dismissed any friar who parted from the Pope on the slightest article of Faith. A pacifist? He joined the Fifth Crusade, simmering ever since eleven thousand Muslims had invaded Rome and desecrated the tombs of Peter and Paul in the year 846. Francis went to North Africa in 1219 to convert the Muslims and confronted Sultan al Malik al-Kamil, who had just slaughtered five thousand Christians at Damietta. Francis fearlessly told the Sultan: “It is just that Christians invade the land you inhabit, for you blaspheme the name of Christ and alienate everyone you can from His worship.” While counselors called for the beheading of Francis according to Muslim law, the Sultan was so taken with the humility of Francis that he only had him beaten, chained and imprisoned, and then he released him.

We are engaged in similar challenges today. Of course, we are aware of the crisis in the Middle East, but the strife is worldwide. Consider Nigeria, whose Catholic population in the last century has soared to nearly twenty million. Last week, under Muslim pressure, the government stopped the Eternal Word Television Network from broadcasting. I have worked with this worldwide Catholic network for twenty-five years and have many Nigerian friends. Two days after the Nigerian bishops objected to this censorship, a Catholic church was destroyed by Muslims, who killed and wounded many worshipers. This seems to be under the radar of our own government and the mainstream media.

May Saint Francis be our model in how to deal with the threats of our own day: not enfeebled by sentimentality and relativism, but armed with a Franciscan zeal for the conversion of souls. We may not have Francis’ charm, but we have in our hearts and churches the same God. By the way, the popular “Prayer of Saint Francis,” which begins, “Make me a channel of your peace,” was actually the work of an anonymous author who published it in France in 1912. Its vague theology and lack of mention of Christ, express a semi-Pelagian heresy unworthy of the Saint of Assisi. Let the last words of the real Saint of Assisi be our guide: “I have done what was mine to do; may Christ teach you what you are to do. Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.”